plotluck | GAY ANGELS

[He was expecting the concern to give way to playful wrestling, not Noel running again. But he wasn't expecting that viscerally familiar press of heat against him either. So it's not really on purpose, when he grabs his brother's wrist abruptly, not super gently, with a hazy and intent look in his eyes that takes a few seconds too long to clear.

He may have a relatively good handle on his body, but his reactions are less controlled.]

--Oh. Yeah! Yeah, I'm good.

[He has not yet thought to let go.]

[ He remembers to breathe, after a few seconds, his heart beating wildly. He tries to have a light tone but his voice is shaky, bordering on showing his own panic. He needs to keep his cool and not make this awkward, he needs to keep his brother from knowing anything because for all his perverted desires he... The last thing he wants is his brother to be hurt, so not letting him know has been his struggle for a couple years now.

He can't let it break down now, even if Rowan's hand on his wrist feels burning hot. He shifts so at least he's not pressing full body on Rowan, tries to untangle their legs while still being held on to. ]

You sure? You can let go, you've already fallen over.

[He has to be reading this wrong. After all this time... There's no way the man he loves has changed his much after all this time. It's wishful thinking at best, skeevy at worst and he really really needs to stop misreading these signals. It's just discomfort with this level of closeness now that they're both through puberty, is all. That hard-on isn't for him, it's just incidental and he should let the boy deal with it in private.

He's still not letting go, gaze fixed on Noel, almost a little dazed as he convinces himself of this.

Then he processes those words and lets go as if burned.]

Right!! Right, can't say I'm sorry about that when I took you down with me, but hey!

[He's so close he could kiss him. Wants to so badly it aches and the guilt of that stings almost as badly. He forces a smile once he's released, sitting back and acting like nothing's happened.]

Jeez, you took out the whole towel rack. And I think it was me that took you down?

....That's right, you did.

[He needs to make this not weird. How does he make this not weird? His first thought is to turn this into a proper tussle, but there's still Noel's erection to (frantically not) consider, so he should probably just... Leave him be?

...But he can't while the air is this awkward between them, either.]

Guess that means you win.

Guess that means the shower's mine.

[A tussle. A half naked, sweaty tussle is definitely not the way to unawkward this situation. Noel feels bad for the heavy atmosphere, reaching over and ruffling his brother's hair aggressively, both wishing Rowan would stay and desperate for him to leave so he can stop having thoughts like that.]

You're a million years too early to beat me.

[That pulls a laugh from Rowan, one of those rare ones that manages to seem tired and bitter like it belongs to a man far beyond his years.

But he reaches up and counter-ruffles Noel playfully, and the moment is gone.]

Then get off of me you dork. Or am I your bathmat now?

[Rowan's always been a little weird and mature at times, he's so used to his brother he hardly notices it's weird. Though the laugh always makes him feel strangely down, when he hears it.]

Hmmmmm~ [Like he's considering it. But he's getting up, maybe too quickly.] Nah, you're too lumpy.

Lumpy!

[He grouses, but gets up too, and starts picking up scattered towels

Enjoy the view of his ass.]

[....Yeah he looks. He. He tries not to but he ends up kind of staring.... Which Rowan might catch a glimpse of in the mirror.]

Totally lumpy.

How am I lumpy!!

[Tosses the towels in a messy pile, good enough for now. He'd been planning to fold them up again but he's finally realizing that staying here is just baiting himself.

Because yeah he fucking saw Noel checking out his ass.]

[He just... Laughs. Because, well, his brother is cute and it's a cute reaction and awkward boners aside it's hard not to react to him naturally.]

Well you sure aren't smooth!

I can't believe you turned that into an excuse to call me unsmooth.

[It's not really wrong, though. If Noel has any access to the school rumor mill at all, it's not rare for there to be yet another rejection under Rowan's belt, another overture of friendship or more turned down. Rowan has never had interest in anyone but Noel.

His scowl melts away, though, replaced with something more tentative and vulnerable. He reaches to ruffle his older brother's hair.]

Hey, so, this is gonna be awkward and kind of stupid to say right now, but... Don't worry about [jerk-off gesture], okay? You seem pretty fussed, but I know how it is.

[WHAT THE FUCK IS COMPOSURE WE JUST DON'T KNOW.]

I don't need to hear that from you.

[Not even referring to his brother's track record with... anyone honestly. But he can't seem to keep the embarrassment off his face when this shouldn't be a big deal. It wouldn't be a big deal, if the reason for his boner wasn't his brother.]

Yeah, yeah, I know. I'll leave you to it.

[He really needs to go jack off really quick, before Noel gets out of the shower. He turns to go.]

[Like a good brother Noel gently kicks him on the way out, nothing hard just you know, brotherly boot. Make it Not Awkward when he turns on the shower and steps under the lukewarm water to lean against the wall and jerk off, biting his lip to stifle all noise and hating himself as he remembers the feel of Rowan's skin slick with sweat and smooth under him. Hating himself doesn't stop him from coming though, and he spends some time composing himself and hating himself more, turning the water to ice cold for a while before stepping out and drying off.]

[Things go back to pretty normal after that, it's still too hot all the time and Noel is basically in hell with how little Rowan wears.

It's maybe a week later that he gives Rowan a list of groceries to get and the cash their dad gives them for expenses and tells him to shop for dinner. He watches his brother go and... He really does intend to do his own chores but Rowan was in a clingy white tank top all morning and it was... so see through and... God.

So he leaves his own things for later and flops on his bed, grabbing a box of tissues. He doesn't bother to close and lock his door all the way, Rowan will be gone at least an hour and Noel hardly needs that whole time to get off.

He slides his shorts down to his knees and lays back, eyes closing as he jerks off, wishing it wasn't the nape of his brother's neck and the flashes of nipples under his tank top and the somewhat fading memory of how smooth his bare chest felt that has his cock painfully hard under his hand.

He's not guarded, he assumes he's alone, and as his imagination and masturbation get more intense, his breathing picks up, he lets himself moan, and whisper, breahtily;]

Rowan... ah... Rowan...

[He forgot his phone. It would be simple enough to complete the shopping trip without it, but he's a millennial for fuck's sake, so it's not even 15 minutes into his hypothetical trip that he's sneaking down the hall, fully aware of what Noel is doing but steadfastly trying not to think about it, when...

Well, when Noel's door slams wide open with a bang, the compact weight of his little brother slamming into him, pinning him to the bed and staring at him with a half-mad glint in his eye, voice rough.]

Say that again.

[Not exactly what he was expecting, and he's caught trying to play catchup to the events of the last... several seconds. This is made harder (ha) by the fact that he's still really fucking hard. And exposed and his brother is on top of him, pinning him, and his cock is really into this even when his brain is struggling to catch up.

His voice is still rough from arousal himself but also, confused, a little panicked as things start to catch up.]

Rowan..?

One more time.

[It's almost a growl, almost a purr, Rowan pinning him down with a hand on his shoulder, the other sliding down to join his brother's on his cock. He doesn't seem very interested in explaining.]

Rowan--!

[He's not even trying to oblige his brother here he's just, having a crisis and also--oh god that's his brother's hand on his dick. His hips arch up without any input from his brain, because his brain is going into full panic.

This is bad. This is really bad isn't it? He's stuck between trying to figure out how to explain why he was moaning Rowan's name and, also, not actually being able to parse that maybe that's not actually necessary when his brother looks this fiercely--he doesn't even know.]

What are you doing?

[Okay the question finally comes out, breathy and really late, but a lot is happening at once, okay?]

Shhh, shh shh.

[He leans down to press a kiss to Noel's lips, sweet and chaste in stark comparison to the utterly lewd movement of his hand on Noel's cock. Then he presses their foreheads together, looking at his brother with some heart wrenching clusterfuck of emotion.]

I don't have good dreams often these days, y'know? Let me have this?

[What... What? What??

All thought of protest just... dies on his lips. Not because of that soft, heart-achingly sweet kiss but because of the look and tone of Rowan's voice. He doesn't understand at all, doesn't know why his brother looks like a million heartbreaks but he does know that if his brother asks with that face he can't possibly even think of denying him.

It's not like he wants to deny him anyway, exactly. Logic says he should, and you know, being a good brother.... But that's shit he can worry about later.

Right now he has no idea why Rowan seems so impossibly good at this, just masturbating alone can't produce these skills can they? Noel's never been so hard in his life and his brain is starting to melt with what Rowan's doing. He makes a soft, defeated noise and lifts his free hand, tangling it in Rowan's hair and holding him there, their foreheads together even as he moans and his hips arch into the touch of both their hands.]

Rowan.

[It's rough again, erotic, but Rowan wanted that and... fuck they'll figure out the rest later, his mind is a little blank.]

[Rowan shivers, visibly affected by his voice. It even pulls a shaky moan out of him and he jerks a little, as if to slide down his body, but the hand in his hair and their foreheads touching is also so, so important.]

Noel. Thank you.

[His voice is soft, tired but grateful, a good match for the sad love in his eyes, acceptance tempered with lust.]

Hey. It's okay.

[He doesn't know the extent of it but... He gets that Rowan needs this. Has he been blind? Are they both just... really kind of twisted this way? Whatever, he'll think about it later. He doesn't let go of Rowan's hair but he does let go of his own cock, pressing his knuckles up against Rowan's crotch to check, confirm for himself.]

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